Cell phone
I am a stickler for correct prisoner behaviour when they are in our cells. I could hear a ruckus coming from the cells one morning and when I went to investigate I saw a prisoner standing on the bench, talking to the prisoner in the next cell through a grill in the wall.
I promptly told him to get down and shut up.
He replied, “Oh, come on Mister, I’m just using the cell phone.”
I had to laugh. I told him he was the funniest guy I had met that morning.